How to Write Your Wedding Vows: Tips & Examples

Writing your wedding vows is no small task. Sharing your feelings and finding the right words to express them doesn’t come naturally to everyone. The good news? Love helps us rise to most challenges, sometimes with a little outside support.

In this cheat sheet, you’ll find:

• A step-by-step guide to writing your wedding vows

• Wedding vow ideas and real examples

• Tips for writing vows that feel truly personal

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Why Wedding Vows Matter

Your wedding vows are a centerpiece not only of your wedding, but of your marriage as a whole. They are the commitments you and your partner make to each other and, if you are religious, to God. In other words, they are promises that will shape your married life, as well as a declaration of the love you share.

Whether they are traditional, lighthearted, or deeply romantic, wedding vows reflect the core values of your marriage. Beyond being a key moment in the ceremony, they stay with you through different stages of life, reminding you why you chose each other in the first place.

So as you can see, writing your vows is no minor task, but no one is better suited to do it than you. The best wedding vows aren’t necessarily clever or tear-jerking; they are honest reflections of who you are as a couple and what your relationship is striving to become.

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Steps to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

If the blank sheet of paper staring back at you is making you anxious, you’re not alone. So let’s move into action. Here’s a step-by-step guide to writing wedding vows that celebrate the uniqueness of your shared love.

1. Brainstorm Memories

Wedding vows are an expression of love. And what better way to begin than by revisiting the moments when that love was born, grew, and settled into something lasting between you and your partner?

Start by brainstorming key milestones in your relationship, such as:

• How you met (and what you first thought of each other)

• Your first date, and what made you want to keep seeing each other

• The moment you knew you were in love, and when you first said “I love you”

• Your first fight (and how you made up)

• The proposal, and how you felt when they said “yes”

• Trips and adventures you’ve shared

• Any other meaningful moments

With all of this in mind, make a list of what you love about your partner. Their sense of humor? Their kindness and resilience? Your shared life goals? The companionship you’ve built together?

Think about what made you choose to marry them, and even if you already said it during the proposal, write it down again.

You now have the foundation for your vows. The next step is shaping it into words.

2. Choose a Tone

For your vows to feel authentic, they need to sound like you. After all, you’re the one pledging love, companionship, and shared memories.

That said, there are a few stylistic directions you can choose from to make your vows truly memorable:

• If your wedding has a classic or traditional tone, traditional vows may be the right fit. There’s a reason these words have endured for centuries, and making them your own can feel deeply meaningful.

• Are you the goofball of your friend group? Did your sense of humor help you snag your fiancé in the first place? Then a light, funny tone might suit you well. Just be careful with sarcasm—this is a moment meant to celebrate joy.

• Your wedding ceremony is also the perfect time to lean into romance. Be as heartfelt, expressive, or even a little cheesy as you both want. No one gets to object: it’s your wedding day.

• You can also choose non-traditional wedding vows that express your values and ethics. Play with structure (rhythm, alternating verses, or shared lines) to create something truly distinctive.

Whatever tone you choose, make sure it reflects both the spirit of your wedding and, most importantly, the spirit of your relationship.

3. Draft Promises

Exchanging vows is one of the most emotional and meaningful moments of a wedding. The promises you make should hold real significance. They should outline how your relationship will grow, over time, into the marriage you envision. Not an Instagram-perfect marriage, but one that feels yours genuinely.

If you’ve attended a premarital course, you may already have ideas about what you want to build together. These courses often help couples deepen their emotional connection and discover new sides of each other. If not, you can draw inspiration from:

• Your shared life goals. Where do you hope to be in five or ten years?

• What has helped you get through difficult moments as a couple?

• How you spend quality time together and which activities you enjoy most

• The ways you express love, and which moments matter most to you

Remember: the right promises won’t feel like an obligation or a burden, but like a privilege. Be as honest as possible. Don’t promise something you know you won’t be able to live up to. Stay mindful of your limits, your relationship dynamics, and keep your expectations realistic.

4. Refine and Practice

Once you know what you want to say, write it down. One helpful approach is to organize your vows as a story. For example:

• Start with how you met, including a sweet or funny anecdote

• Move into the present, and into what you love about your partner today

• End with the future, and the promises you’re making

You can also structure your vows differently, such as:

• Opening with an acknowledgment of your partner

• Following up on your promises

• Sharing a personal story connected to one of those promises

• Mentioning challenges you’ve overcome together

• Closing with a declaration of love and your hopes for the future

  
  

Once your vows are written, read them out loud. How do they sound? Read them again with a critical ear and refine both the structure and wording.

Repeat this process as many times as needed until they feel right. And if you get stuck, don’t hesitate to ask trusted friends or family for feedback.

Types of Wedding Vows & Examples

There are as many wedding vow styles as there are couples in the world. Traditional, romantic, funny, out-of-the-box. The choice is yours (and your partner’s).

Below, you’ll find different types of wedding vows, with examples to inspire you and guide you as you write your own.

Traditional Vows

Don’t have the time or confidence to write your vows from scratch? That’s perfectly okay. Simple yet meaningful, traditional vows are a timeless choice. Here’s a tried-and-true, universally loved template you can use:

I, ______________, take thee, ____________, to be my lawful wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

Thereto I pledge thee my faith / pledge myself to you.

Romantic Vows

When you’re in love, even the most cynical person can end up writing pages of romantic vows, one of the hardest styles to get right.

Finding the balance between sincerity and over-the-top cheesiness takes effort, not to mention the courage it takes to open your heart.

Still, true love has a way of helping us rise to the challenge. Writing your wedding vows is no exception to this rule.

Here’s an example of romantic wedding vows you can use as inspiration:

(Name), I was drawn to you from the day we met, and after our first date in (place/month/year), I was completely in love.

I often look back on those early days, when we were just getting to know each other, yet it felt like we had known each other our whole lives.

We’ve come such a long way since then, and I feel incredibly lucky and proud to be standing by your side today.

Today, as we begin our life together, I vow to dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever life brings.

I promise to cherish and love you in good times and bad. You are my partner, my love, my friend, and my safe place.

Thank you for embracing all of me and helping me become the person I am today. I love you.

Funny Vows

If humor is at the heart of your relationship, funny wedding vows are a great way to honor that while adding authenticity and plenty of laughter to your ceremony.

Here’s an example to help you get started. Just add your own stories and inside jokes:

(Name), I promise to stand by your side for as long as you can put up with me. As long as we’re married, I promise to (insert inside joke or shared activity here) and to always make sure you have your favorite (item they love).

I’ll do my best to stop (insert annoying habit here), even though I do it so often that it’s a miracle you’re marrying me. You are a saint for putting up with me, and I’ll try to make it up to you, starting today.

Everyone here will agree that I don’t know everything, but I do know how to love you. So that’s my promise: to love you for as long as we share this strange, wonderful, and beautiful life together. What do you say?

Non-Traditional Vows

For couples who want meaningful, thoughtful vows that are neither romantic nor traditional, non-traditional wedding vows are a powerful option.

These vows tend to be plainspoken and free of clichés. They’re realistic: words that could be said on a hard day, carefully shaped and intentional, rather than decorated with flowery language.

You might choose something short and direct, like this:

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wedded partner.

I vow to offer you honesty, integrity, goodwill, humor, and patience.

I vow to stand by your side as your spouse, partner, companion, and friend.

And above all, I vow to stay true to myself, so I can be true to our relationship, wherever our paths may lead.

Or you can take a more personalized approach, weaving in references to your relationship, meaningful song lyrics, alternating lines, or any other structure that feels right to you.

That’s the beauty of non-traditional wedding vows: you get to make the rules!

Tips for Writing Memorable Vows

Juggling emotion and clarity in your wedding vows, while staying true to both your relationship and the overall spirit of your wedding, isn’t always easy. The tips below can help make the process smoother:

• Keep them concise. Vows of 300–500 words usually take about 2–4 minutes to read aloud.

• Always read your vows out loud. This helps you catch awkward phrasing, fix mistakes, and make sure they sound natural when spoken.

• Get on the same page with your partner. Agree ahead of time on a general word count and overall style to keep things balanced.

• Make them as personal as you’d like. Personal stories add meaning, but if you’re more private, traditional vows can be just as powerful.

• Be authentic. Don’t try to cover up a rocky journey with a perfect façade, especially if your guests already know your story. Overcoming challenges together is part of what makes your relationship special. Honor that.

• Use humor thoughtfully. If you’re writing funny vows, let the laughs celebrate your relationship, not diminish it. In short, jokes about “the old ball and chain” are best used sparingly.

  
  

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FAQs about Wedding Vows

What should I include in my wedding vows?

When writing your wedding vows, you have a lot of freedom in terms of content and structure. If you’re feeling stuck, a tried-and-true framework can help:

• Open with a brief history of your relationship

• Share your feelings for your soon-to-be spouse

• Close with promises about how you’ll build the marriage you envision together

  
  

How long should wedding vows be?

It’s generally best to keep wedding vows between 2 and 4 minutes. Depending on your speaking pace, that usually comes out to 250–500 words.

Should we write our own wedding vows?

While traditional vows are always an option, writing your own allows you to reflect on your relationship and speak directly to your partner. It also ensures you’re not committing to promises that don’t truly feel right to you.

How can I personalize my wedding vows?

You can personalize your vows by including meaningful stories and specific promises. To do this, reflect on your relationship as a work in progress: how it began, the key moments along the way, and where you hope to go together.

What if I get too emotional reading my vows?

If emotions start to take over, here are a few ways to help yourself stay grounded:

• Take a deep breath

• Use note cards

• Look your partner in the eyes

  
  

Remember, you’re sharing your feelings and hopes with the person you love most. Getting emotional while reading your vows is completely natural and more than okay.

Who should say their vows first?

It’s a good idea to decide this together ahead of time. Consider who feels more comfortable speaking in front of others, who might get more emotional, and how you want the moment to unfold.

Are traditional wedding vows still used?

Yes, traditional vows are still commonly used, especially in religious ceremonies. Many couples also choose to adapt them slightly to create a more personal or non-traditional version.

What tone should our vows have?

Your wedding vows should reflect both the spirit of your relationship and the overall tone of your wedding. Above all, the key is to be authentic and true to yourselves.

Finding the Words That Matter: Putting Your Heart Into Your Vows

Writing your wedding vows doesn’t have to be scary, and it’s not a mountain so high that you can’t climb it. Vows aren’t about finding the perfect words or making your wedding guests weep: they’re about your feelings and your hopes. They should be authentic, reflecting who you are and why you’re choosing, and will continue to choose, a married life with your better half.

So take your time, trust your voice, and remember: these vows are meant for someone who loves you with all their heart. Stay true to yourself, and the right words will come.

Breathe in, take a minute…

Now put pen to paper and let those vows flow!

Dr. Liliana Wolf, psychotherapist, former professor of psychology and international relationship expert, has been preparing couples for marriage at her Coral Gables office for over 20 years. Favored by couples about to be married, her courses have achieved a consistent 5-star rating, positioning her in the top 1% in sales of online courses by the Teachable platform worldwide. Ranked at the top 1% in the specialty of marriage and family nationwide by HealthGrades, Dr. Wolf is at the top of her game both as a clinician and professor.